Gensokyo Erotic Incidents
by Azure Xuchilbara
Summary: Short stories of chance encounters, awkward moments, and well-endowed girls in the mythical land of Gensokyo. All girl crack-pairings. CHAPTER 4: Today's attempt at surprising failed. And on top of that it's raining! *sniff* Is that some grilled food?
1. Chapter 1  Caturday at Mayohiga

**Foreword****:** This is my second Touhou story that I have written after rummaging through my Touhou crack-pairing collection and futa doujins~ I'm very rusty, since the last time I wrote a Touhou story was a few years ago, so it WILL suck a lot, no pun intended…Also FF . net's format has changed yet again like a bloody b*tch, so that adds to the suckiness of trying to adapt again for the 4th time...

F*CK YOU FF..! YOU WON'T EVEN ALLOW ME TO DO DOUBLE "-" AND DO TRIPLE "!" ON MY SENTENCES AND DOUBLE SPACE..! OH, AND YOU WON'T EVEN LET ME UNDERLINE THE F*CKING TITLE, YOU SICK F*CKS..!

F*CK YOU AND F*CK YOUR (4TH) NEW FORMAT..!

*shoots the site with his Great Plasma Cutter then calms down*

As you may have guessed, the characters in this Tale of the Third Leg are all packing some heat betwixt their womanhoods. It's going to be a series of short chapters regarding said package and some cracked-up situations~ Warning aside, please enjoy the show…

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**Gensokyo Erotic Incidents: Chapter 1 - Caturday at Mayohiga**

Gensokyo.

The mythical land located somewhere in Japan and separated from the rest of the Outside World.

A true paradise with more than 95% of the population being female (with the majority of the males being in the human village).

Now, one wonders why a place like this can still continue to exist despite the lack of males to keep up with re-population and the usual trivial details of reproduction. The answer to this was relatively simple thanks to the ridiculously abundant amount of magical energy and rich natural resources that littered the land that made fairies and youkai form rapidly into existence as well as providing the humans living here with plenty of child-bearing males in the Human Village.

"I'm glad every girl is born with a penis! Ran has nothing on that baby!"

Or that.

A high-class figure amongst the youkai and arguably the head honcho of the lot, is a woman named Yukari Yakumo. With the ability to control 'gaps' and 'boundaries' inside, outside, or even if they are alive, dead, inanimate, or outright somewhere in between them all. Her status as Gensokyo's keeper is only rivaled by her status in trepidation of the affairs of others…Which is to say, right about now she should be spying on someone while relaxing in her bedroom in Mayohiga.

"Who knew that Alice Margatroid was packing that thing under her skirt?", Yukari says with a perverse smirk on her face. "No wonder she walks like a stick's shoved up her cute rump."

In one of her gaps, she watches the form of Gensokyo's puppeteer putting on her undergarments. And slowly trying to tuck her massive sock-puppet in her cotton bloomers.

Now, as I said before, Gensokyo is an abundant land bristling with magical energy and resources, but I also fail to mention that the ecosystem there had somewhat of an adverse effect on the female dominated population. As a fail-safe in case all the males cease to be, all the girls born there sport an 'extra' appendage for the purpose of girls banging each othe-uh, I mean, child-bearing between females.

How this came to be is often argued by the inhabitants, but most think it's just Yukari Gap-Haxing the entire place so every female in it would have magical rods betwixt their legs. And if that didn't work, there's always Eirin's shady (penis-growing) drugs.

Ever since Gensokyo was formed, the inhabitants more or less kept their extra appendages to themselves and speaking about it was usually met with awkward gazes and cat-calls.

That aside, let's go back to Grandma Gappy, shall we?

"Hmm~ I wonder if she does 'that' when Marisa comes to visit", mused Yukari as she watched Alice finish changing.

Said puppeteer then suddenly began to look around, and as soon as she's sure no one is peeping, (except Yukari, of course) she proceeds to a rather tall closet and pulls out what looks like a miniature version of Marisa. The resemblance is uncanny, bordering on outright creepy thanks to the life-like facial expression of sleep plastered on it's form.

Then as if it's the most natural thing in the world, Alice whipped out her 'Pinocchio' and began to make love to Doll Marisa. Said doll's eye's popped open with a look of horror upon the intrusion of the rainbow-puppeteer's wooden baton into her small form. You may find it strange how well-made this doll was, but Alice's will over it probably controlled it's senses much like her other dolls.

"NHOOOO! You're the best, Marisa!", Alice moaned loudly, between thrusts. "I love you s-so much!"

"_I'm sure you do", _Yukari crooned from behind her gap, as her hand snacked between her legs to stroke a rising lump.

Meanwhile, the voyeu-er, I mean Yukari just looks at it in awe as young Alice ravages the miniature Marisa with the force of only a horny and frustrated lesbian puppeteer can muster. In a matter of seconds, only the wet smacking sounds of Alice pounding the puppet can be heard.

"Ah! I didn't know you love me this much, Marisa!", the puppeteer grunted in pleasure as the doll suddenly tightened around her phallic organ. "I have to give my love for you in return~"

The Marisa Doll tried to struggle, with visible sweat and tears dripping down her face as it cried out from it's mouth. No voice came out of the doll, as her eyes rolled to the back of her head.

She had a mouth, yet she could not scream. This sent the hermit puppeteer over the edge as she filled up the poor doll with Youkai Yogurt.

"MWOOHH! MARISA! I'm coming inside you, Marisa!"

After a few minutes of her activity with the Marisa doll, Alice pulled out from the spent orifice with a loud squelching sound followed by an overflowing amount of her maiden milk seeping fort.

Yukari on the other hand was breathing raggedly, as her own form was coated with her own excretions. And it's not limited to one excretion, mind you.

"Hoho, young Alice sure knows how to masturbate! I should give Shinki credit for bringing up such a fine girl."

With a contented smile, Yukari closed her 'live show' and fell back to her bed as her own spent appendage became flaccid. Before she could fall asleep in her current state of nakedness, a knock brought her attention to the door.

She got up and gapped a see-through night gown to her lap. "Ah, that must be Ran with the afternoon tea."

The door opened to reveal not her fox slu-er, I mean her shikigami, but her shikigami's shikigami holding a tea tray along with some biscuits and various knick-knacks to go along with them. Said shikigami's shikigami almost dropped the tray when she saw Yukari's naked form.

"Chen! Well this is unexpected", began Yukari as she hurriedly put on the robe and stood up. "Uh, what happened to Ran by the way?"

Chen recovered from the sight and awkwardly turned her gaze downwards as she set the tray down on a nearby table. "R-Ran-shama is away on a sudden u-urgent business, Yukari-shama."

"What sort of business could it be, if I may ask Chen?"

"Umm…Umm…"

The little cat youkai shifted uncomfortably, her gaze not leaving the bedroom's floor. Tears were starting to form on her face.

"Oh don't worry, Chen~ I won't get mad", assured the gap youkai as she walked over and patted the catgirl's head. "Just tell me what sort of urgent business Ran went-"

Chen cut her off. "S-She went out to meet Reisen!"

"Eh? What could she want with the moon rabbit?", said Yukari with a raised brow as she began drinking the tea Chen brought earlier. "Well, whatever it is, It must be medicine or some-"

Chen cut her off yet again. "And Ran-shama went out without clothes!"

At this, the Youkai of Gaps spat the entire contents of her mouth and turned to Chen with a look of horror (complete with bulging eyes and furrowed brows) . The feline backed away slightly, but Yukari grabbed her shoulder roughly and shook her.

"When? When did she get out!", Yukari practically shouted, frightening poor little Chen.

"T-Thirty minutes ago, Yukari-shama!", the cat youkai answered, trying to break free. "Ow! Y-You're hurting me, Yukari-shama!"

Yukari instantly let go of Chen and calmed down. She went back on her bed and laid back with a hand over face. She then went into a sitting position and sighed.

"I'm sorry for that, Chen. I was just really surprised, that's all."

"D-Don't worry about it, Yukari-shama. I was surprised too when Ran-shama burst out of her room and flew off naked", Chen assured, although her own tears won't stop falling. "T-That's where I found the note that she was going to see Miss Reisen. But…But…I don't think Ran-shama loves me anymore."

Yukari then went to hug Chen. "There, there Chen. Ran just went to go pick up some medicine, I'm sure."

"Really?"

"Yes, really~", Yukari lied with a smile as she patted Chen's back.

"Then I'm happy! Thank you, Yukari-shama!"

"Ugh, how could I forgot that it's _that_ time of the year again", Yukari whispered to herself.

_poke_

"Eh? What's this?"

_poke_

She suddenly felt an uncomfortable 'lump' poking her in the chest. Said lump seems to be originating between the crying catgirl's legs.

Yukari paled as it dawned on her that Ran was not the only one who was in-heat.

"Yukari-shama, I-I've been feeling like this for a long time now and it hurts!", began Chen as her breathing became ragged. "Usually, Ran-shama would take care of it with some medicine but…"

"Chen, I'm sure Ran will be back soon", Yukari fibbed as she tried to pry Chen off her.

"I can't wait for Ran-shama to get back! It hurts a lot, Yukari-shama! Please make the hurting stop!"

Before Yukari can answer back, she was pushed and held down by Chen. Despite her small stature, Yukari wondered where this sudden monstrous strength came from as she tried to break free from the hold.

When Yukari looked up, she noticed that Chen's eyes were very feral and had that 'I want to rape you' look written on both of them. This promptly made the elder youkai gulp in worry. Chen's throbbing third tail rubbing on her navel did not help the situation, either.

"I-I've always liked-no! I've always loved you too, Yukari-shama!", Chen purred as she leaned down and nuzzled Yukari's breasts. "Yessshh, I love you~"

"CHEN! Stop your behavior this instant! What would Ran say!"

The frisky feline didn't stop her ministrations and viciously tore off Yukari's night gown with her teeth, leaving the latter in the state she was before Chen's arrival. Before she could protest again, Chen took Yukari's mouth into her own for a deep kiss all the while shoving her tongue inside. Yukari found her own tongue dancing with the youth's own.

Finally, after a minute of tongue-wrestling, Yukari managed to break off the kiss. She looked down just in time to see Chen preparing to enter her gap."Chen, this isn't you! Stop it this inst-AAAHH!"

Mayohiga was filled with animal noises and the pleasure-filled screams of the owner that day.

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**Afterword:** Yeah…I'm going to have to cut it from there, folks~ I'm trying to keep this "Rated T" for everyone's benefit…I wouldn't not want it to end like my other Touhou story…Yet…Damn it, I hate this f*cking site for changing formats without even a say-so...Messed up a lot of stories...

Also, if you have questions why all-powerful characters act like weak-asses, ask yourself this...

"What did I learn from reading/fapping to all those hentai doujins of my favorite anime characters getting f*cked by random, faceless/fat/ugly men..?"

NO MATTER HOW POWERFUL YOU ARE, SEX CONQUERS ALL..! IT ONLY TAKES ONE SEXUAL ACTION TO SUBDUE AN ANIME GIRL/GUY NO MATTER THE POWER LEVEL..!

Anyway, the next chapter will be posted when I get in the mood for some crack-pairing goodness~ It may be a week, it may be a month…Who knows..?

It's going to deal with unlikely couples, I assure you~

Ah, SCREW IT..! I can't keep this diluted rating for the sexual torture-uh, I mean, for the things I plan to do to certain individuals...

Expect the next story to be full of smex~


	2. Chapter 2  Mommy, How Are Fairies Made?

_First off, something I'd like to share when I played "Lost Planet 2" in Episode 3-3:_

Player 4: You cunt faggot piece of shit! Taking all the fucking kills, homo bitch faggot!

Player 2 (that's me, folks): It is not my fault, friend…You chose that ability…

Player 4: Fuck you, faggot! Little bitch laser using queer faggot! Fuck you!

Player 2: I really don't think a flaccid person like you will satisfy my ass~

Player 4: WHAT THE FUCK! YOU GIGANTIC HOMO MOTHERFUCKER!

*Player 4 rage-quits*

Player 2: ~_~

**Foreword:** After getting a suggestion from a fellow Touhou fan, I have decided that this will not remain "T" since it just isn't me…From now on, expect some nasty word-play and even nastier terms, from this Touhou fan of fiction (and yuri crack-pairings)~

I'm still experimenting with a different writing style since I'm very, very rusty, so be advised that the structuring and sentences won't be to your liking in terms of flow and word-play…

That said, I will now unleash all the vile, deluded thoughts and planned crack-pairing scenarios from my head that will make even Baby Byakuren gouge her eyes out from the sheer amount of fairy filth and unholy decay…Or make her get a raging hard-on and cum like a giant catfish~

Onwards to the show…

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**Gensokyo Erotic Incidents: Chapter 2 - Mommy, Where Do Baby Fairies Come From?**

Marisa Kirisame.

The Black-White Witch.

Ordinary Magician.

The Notorious Thief of Voile.

The Stealer of 'Precious Things'.

Pimprisa.

That name and it's many aliases have plenty of different meanings to a certain number of individuals living in Gensokyo. Some fear the very mention of it, a few harbor animosity and ill-thoughts, others desire the girl from whom that name belongs to, and a select number of people hear and there regard it as something of an annoyance and a sign of kleptomania at it's finest.

But since this is Gensokyo, it's safe to say that it could be a combination of the above reasons. Some might even be hoping that the blond thief visits their place and steals more than their arcane books and magical trinkets.

Now, our tale begins with the Black-White witch flying just above the horizon of Misty Lake. Let's take a closer look, shall we?

"Ugh, it's such a hot day", a familiar witch riding a broom says to herself as she flies lazily over the huge, blue lake. "I'm having second thoughts about robbi-er, borrowing some books from Patchy's place, ze."

That's right, Miss Black-White. It is the Season of Summer~

A time of various youthful antics, beach fan-service scenes in anime, and plenty of anime girl armpit exposure. Yes. Armpits. Tasty, sweaty, salty Touhou girl armpits.

Wait. Where was I? Ah yes, Summer.

Not even a renowned borrower of books and precious things like Miss Kirisame can just waltz into the Scarlet Devil Mansion and get all the magical amenities she needs without feeling the effects of the blistering sun.

"I need to let off some steam. But I haven't seen a single, stupid fairy in weeks though."

The Black-White witch turned around and looked for the usually lively fairies to shower her in danmaku, but after a slow minute of waiting, not one made it's appearance to grant the thief some entertainment to sway her attention from the heat.

"I swear though, if any of them show up I'm sending them straight to the sun!", Marisa grinned as she wiped a bead of sweat trickling down her forehead. "Man, maybe I'll pay that ice fairy a visit, ze…"

A chance encounter due to said sun will forever change the mindset of our subject matter and how she will interact with those who are less…Fortunate than her.

_whoosh_

Right about now.

_THUD!_

As soon as Marisa turned around, she was smacked by a green blur and almost fell off her broom. Not that she needed it to fly due to being a magical girl, but you get picture.

Marisa climbed back up and steadied herself on her broom. "Ow! Watch where you're going, da ze!"

The green blur turned out to be a green-haired fairy with a side ponytail that's tied by a yellow ribbon. But unlike the usual red/blue/green dresses that fairies around Misty Lake usually wore, she was wearing what appeared to be an exquisite white silk blouse complete with a sun-flower accent (and frills, we can't forget about the frills now can we?) of the blouse. Her hands are loosely bound by a rope, and she seems out of breath.

"Ah, I know you! It's uh…", began the Black-White thief, but found herself unable to grasp the name of the fairy. "You're, uh…You're…"

"Mmm-Hmmamm."

"Eh? I didn't catch that."

"Mmm-Hmmamm!"

Oh, and did I mention she had a ball-gag hanging around her neck?

Marisa removed the ball-gag from the fairy's mouth. "Now what was that again?"

"Daiyousei!", the green-haired fairy shouted with annoyance. "My name is Daiyousei! I hang around with Cirno-chan all the time!"

"Oh yeah! You're Daiyousei!", Marisa beamed as she pocketed the ball-gag, and took out her mini-hakkero in it's place. "And now, I'm going to christen you DIEyousei, da ze~"

The Greater Fairy panicked as she saw the mini-hakkero slowly charging up.

"Wait! Wait! I didn't mean to bump on you on purpose! I was just running away!"

The mini-hakkero did not stop charging, as it's owner smiled maniacally. "Don't know and don't care, since you've caught me at a 'fairy killing' mood."

"Ah! At least let me take off this dress!"

At this the Black-White witch stopped charging her mini-hakkero and eyed Daiyousei quizzically. The fairy by now had untied herself from the ropes binding her hands, and was looking at the marks left by the ropes solemnly. Then, before Marisa could make a decision, Daiyousei flew done to an abandoned part of the forest below and hide behind a large tree.

"Hey! Don't think you can get away!", shouted Marisa as she went down after her kill. "Come out behind that tree…Then again, I'll just blast it along with ya!"

Before the thieving witch could charge her mini-hakkero yet again, her intended victim of the day slowly came out from behind her wooden hiding place.

And she was wearing only her Birthday Suit.

"W-W-Where the hell are your clothes, da ze!"

"What do you care? Just hurry up and turn me into 'power-ups' already so I can regenerate and go home," the green-haired fairy says in a pessimistic voice, all the while developing a deep blush and averting her eyes from her Black-White executioner as she check around for other fairies. "Ugh, this is embarrassing…"

Our resident thief just stares at the naked fairy girl in front of her without moving as much as an inch. If one looks closely, a tent betwixt her legs can be seen ever so slowly rising up.

"Well? Hurry up!", Daiyousei coaxed nonchalantly, still unaware of the developing bulge from the former's bloomers. "Miss Marisa, I have to go and cook Cirno-chan dinner, so I would appreciate it if you pl-yeeeee!"

Daiyousei looked in front of her only to come mere inches from Marisa's face. The latter crossed her arms over her chest and spoke in a curious tone, as she put her mini-hakkero away.

"Say, Dai-chan…"

Daiyousei recovered and raised a brow from Marisa's attitude turnabout. _"Dai__-__chan__?__"_

"Why would you care about some dress? Don't you fairies just regenerate your clothes after getting blown up?"

"What makes you say that?", Dai-chan replied in mild surprise, quickly finding the ground interesting than ever. "Don't you know that we HAVE to make new clothes after we regenerate? The again, no one really gives a hoot about poor fairies like us."

Allow me to explain, fellow Touhou enthusiasts. You see, when a fairy/youkai gets turned into power-up and points, they always come back no matter how much ass-whooping they receive.

However, their clothes do not.

So a fairy or youkai who comes back from a nasty scuffle are clad only in their Birthday Suits, and must thus buy/steal/make/forage/barter for some new set of clothes lest they get pounced on by the more hornier denizens of Gensokyo. And that's not limited to the male sex, either.

"Eh? I always thought it would regenerate with you", says Marisa, checking out the fairy's assets with a lecherous face. "I've seen Kanako and Suwako regenerate their clothes from our previous battles."

"Well, goddesses are an exception. We fairies actually have to spend money and such to buy new clothes", Daiyousei answers very impatiently, still refusing to look the blonde witch in the eye. "Now can you PLEASE kill me already!"

"Woah, woah, settle down. I still got one question before I vent my Summer misery on ya, ze."

Daiyousei let out a shriek. "AH? M-My dress? I, uh, I bought it from the Human Village since it was cute!"

Obviously a lie.

The real truth is that she was a certain…Flower Youkai's latest plaything.

A flashback is in order~

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A green-haired woman in a bondage outfit and totting an umbrella can be seen lazily chasing after a fleeing Daiyousei whose arms are bound by a rope (and her mouth ball-gagged) down a long, dark, windowless hallway.

"Come now, my sweet~", the woman called the scurrying fairy, with a refined British accent. "You'll ruin that gorgeous dress if you keep running like that. And only I get to ruin that dress!"

"Mmm mmm! Hmmm hmmm mmmph!"

The woman merely laughed at the threat (how she understood the words through the ball-gag, I'll never know) and calmly ran after her victim, her eyes glowing red in the blackness. After darting around from one dark hallway to another, Daiyousei finally saw a window in the distance.

"_I'm out of this place!", _Daiyousei thought in relief as she flew towards the window at break-neck speed. _"Yes, I'm finally getting-huh?"_

She found herself suspended in mid-flight, before being flung to the floor on her back. Before she could get up, a shoe went down on her crotch, making the fairy yelp in pain.

She looked up to see that the shoe belonged to the green-haired woman. "Aw~ You were almost there too. Naughty girls like you need to be punished for not playing by the rules…"

Before Daiyousei could even retort, vines grew out of the mansion's floor and held her legs in place, as the woman applied more pressure on her groin.

The bound fairy could only moan in a mix of pleasure and pain from the treatment. Soon her fairy rod of slightly above-average length began to stand erect from under her dress.

"Mmmmph…Ahhaaaaammph!"

Soon, Daiyousei decided to stop struggling and just let herself go to the woman's ministrations on her twitching penis. She felt the woman's take off her shoe and began rubbing the length of her head with her toes, as if waiting for an opportunity…

"My, my…This is supposed to be punishment for a bad girl like you, and here you are enjoying this like some sort of sick individual! Goodness, is this how little girls in Gensokyo behave nowadays?"

Her fairy pre-cum is slowly staining the dress, as the foot torture on her crotch continued. The green-haired woman smiled sadistically as she noticed the small stain the fairy made.

"What do we have here? Did you just stain this expensive dress I gave you? Where are your manners!"

The woman then swiftly slammed her foot down on Daiyousei's dick, making the latter's face contort into sheer pain and sending her over the edge.

"HHHMMMMMMMMMGGGHH!"

The lower part of the dress became coated in the tormented fairy's cock milk as Daiyousei let loose. Her tormentor's foot are also coated in fairy seed as she continued to instinctively thrust her cock on the woman's toes, her body arching from the release.

After spurting a couple more shots of cum, Daiyousei fell back, breathing raggedly.

"Hmph, you sure know how to make a mess", the woman began as she inspected her cum-soaked foot, before bringing it to the tired fairy's face. "Clean it."

Daiyousei could smell her own cum from the woman's foot. "Mmph!"

"Oh yes, I forgot you have that lovely little mouth-piece on you~"

The woman raised the umbrellas she was carrying and slammed the tip into Daiyousei's gut, making the fairy open her mouth wide in pain, despite the ballgag. The woman then yanked the ball-gag out of her mouth and shoved her cum-soaked foot in it's place.

The woman smiled. "Now…Lick."

At first Daiyousei's initial reaction was to bite the offender's foot, but when she that behind her smiling face, she saw the slits of her eyes glowing blood red as if to say "Don't even think about it or I will rip off your fairy cock and fuck you with it~"

Daiyousei slowly began cleaning off the woman's foot, starting with the toes. Her tongue cleaning the cum between them.

Even though at first she wanted to gag and throw up the contents of her stomach, she noticed that the feeling of disgust was not even present on her mind given the current situation.

The fairy blushed as she found herself somewhat loving the semi-pungent odor of the woman's foot and her own cum combined into an intoxicating aroma as she licked and sucked on it as if in a trance.

"_Am I really getting turned on by the taste of my own cum? I need to stop this…"_

Running her tongue all over her captor's feet aroused Daiyousei again as her semi-flaccid cock began to slowly stand up again. The woman noticed this and quickly bent down and grabbed it with her hand.

"You really are a sick pervert, aren't you little fairy?", smiled the woman as she looked at the uncircumcised cock of Daiyousei, who in turn remained quite and just nodded in acceptance. "Cute~ I think I'll give you a reward for being honest with me~"

The woman went down on her fairy cock and slowly began to suckle the tip, her playing around with the foreskin. Daiyousei moaned in pure bliss as she felt the green-haired woman play with the entrance of her cock, prodding it with her tongue while her hands massaged her length.

The fairy was getting close to cumming again. "Mmm…Hnnmmm."

Then without warning, the woman viciously yanked down her foreskin, exposing the head of her cock as well as drawing a minute amount of blood.

"MMMNNNNGGGGHHH!"

The unexpected mix of pain and pleasure once again sent the fairy over the edge, as she filled the inside of her sadistic captor's mouth with pure fairy milk. The overflowing amount feel out of the latter's mouth as she tried to drink as much as she can. After greedily gulping what she could, she turned to the stunned fairy.

"So sorry~ My hand must have slipped when I was trying to rub the underside of your lovely cock", chided the woman with a mock look of sadness on her face. "Ah well, at least you enjoyed it."

The captive fairy signed from the afterglow of her second orgasm. _"I__ can't__ argue__ with __her__ on__ that__.__"_

After a minute of licking the underside of Daiyousei's dick and cleaning off the smega, the woman got off the fairy while the vines holding her legs retreated back into the house's floor. Despite being tired, Daiyousei shakily got up and supported herself on one of the walls.

Her captor was casually licking her fingers one by one, sucking on the fairy spunk sticking to them. She then turned her attention to Daiyousei with a warm smile.

"Now…You may go home since your friends must be awfully worried by now", she began with a soothing voice as she cupped Daiyousei's face with both of her hands. "Your punishment for picking off that defenseless sunflower is over. But I want you to return here after you have washed that dress I gave you, since my washing machine is broken~"

Before Daiyousei could complain, the woman released her hold on Daiyousei's face and began fondling the fairy's scrotum in a loving manner. Then she squeezed them, drawing a surprised and painful gasp from the fairy.

"And if I ever see a rip or tear on that dress, well…As much as I love the taste of your thick cum, I won't hesitate to rip out your cute little fairy balls and drink out of them directly~"

Daiyousei became deathly still. A bead of sweat rolled down the side of her face as she stared at the green-haired sadist with the death-grip on her fairy treasures in fear.

She released her hold on the fairy's quivering nuts. "Ah, I'm glad we have come to a good understanding, my cute guest~ Now run along and do come back again if you have time~"

The green-haired fairy did not think twice as she flew out the window as fast as her see-through wings can carry her. A single thought slithered into the fleeing fairy's mind as the house in the middle of the sunflower fields became a speck in the distance…

"_Now I know why Wriggle loves and hates her."_

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And that's the end of that bitter-sticky flashback.

Also, if you look closely, you can actually see the remnants of fairy milk on the crotch area of the dress.

But let's not tell Marisa that, yes? Now back to the current situation at hand…

"Really? Well to be honest when I saw you wearing it…Um", Marisa begins with a quizzical look as she scratched the back of her head. "It kinda suits you, ze~"

The unexpected compliment finally made the naked fairy avert her gaze from the ground and turn to Marisa. Suffice to say, she noticed that Gensokyo's top thief was sporting a noticeably huge bulge under her dress.

Daiyousei pretended not to notice.

"U-Um, can we hurry this up already?", squirmed the naked mid-boss, as she averted her eyes from the rising tent. "It's getting dark."

Marisa smiled evilly. "Haha…Sure, why don't ya close your eyes and I'll send you on your way with a Master Spark."

Daiyousei obeyed and gritted her teeth on the oncoming pain of getting Master Spark'ed to death. Half a minute passed and the deathly laser never came.

"_Strange, there's something wrong he-eeep!"_

A hand groped her bare behind and gave it a playful slap. Daiyousei turned around and opened her eyes to protest, if not for the sight before her…

Her face was inches away from Marisa's own as the latter had a look of lust in her usually mischievous face. But what got the green-haired fairy was the fact that the Black-White witch had stripped off her usual attire.

Marisa wasn't well endowed as she had claimed in Bunbunmaru news. In fact-she's as flat as a certain drunk oni, with her stiff, pointy nipples as the only noticeable thing on her chest. Having a well-toned, skinny body wasn't helping her figure either.

Daiyousei laughed inwardly since she knew a lowly fairy like her had at least a bit of breast compared to the raisins that Marisa calls her 'well-endowed' bosoms.

The fairy looked down just a few inches between Marisa's nipples and noticed the ridiculously huge penis.

The foreskin on the tip was slightly peeled back and leaking a tiny rivulet of pre-cum. The witch's pussy was also leaking some juice, which was slightly dripping down her legs. However, her attention was on the huge phallus of the witch now poking her on the stomach.

"_By Kanako, that thing must be as big as that Hell-Raven's third leg!"_, gawked the blushing fairy, as she took a long gander at what the Black-White witch was packing. _"If that thing goes in me…"_

As if to finish her thought on the matter, Marisa decided now was the best time to speak to the dumb-struck fairy. "So, are you ready to be 'Master Sparked', Dai-chan?"

"W-Wait! You said you were going to kill me and send me on my way!"

"Oh I'll send you on your way, alright", smiled the thief as she leaned over and touched Daiyousei's forehead with her own. "I just didn't tell you how your going to go 'pichu~n', da ze."

Daiyousei was tackled to the ground before she could even try to run away. Marisa gave her no quarter as the witch positioned herself on the fairy's entrance and began rubbing the tip of her "Master Staff" at the petals of the fairy's untouched flower.

"NO! PLEASE NO!", screamed the horrified fairy as the head of Marisa's penis poked the entrance of her snatch. "I'm saving my virginity for Cirno! Please don't do it Miss Marisa!"

"That blue idiot? Heh…It won't matter since you'll regenerate it back anyway~"

_squelch_

_riiiip_

The witch tore through her hymen with full force, making Daiyousei scream loudly in agony as Marisa shoved her entire length into the hapless fairy's insides. Without even giving her room to adjust, Marisa started moving rapidly inside the poor girl, tearing through her small frame and making her scream even louder from the painful intrusion.

"AAAAAGGGGHHH! T-TAKE IT OUT! AUGHHH! TAKE IT OUT!"

"Shut up, ya stupid fairy!", responded her rapist as she increased the pace without a care in the world. "It's your own damn fault for tempting me on this kind of weather!"

Marisa punched Daiyousei right in the face, blackening her eye and making her give out a painful yelp. The latter tried to kick Marisa off her, but the witch was physically stronger than the fairy and held both of her hands down as she continued the assault on her bloody flower.

"AH YEAH! You just tightened up when I punched you!", Marisa announced, never letting up the pace of her thrusts. "What are you? Some kind of masochist?"

Daiyousei didn't respond and just stared daggers at her rapist. By now, tears that she desperately tried to hold in streamed down her agonized face. Despite putting on a brave front, the fairy was clearly hurting inside from the cruel treatment.

"What's this? Giving me the silent treatment, ze?"

Another quick punch to the gut brought the reaction Marisa hoped for from the fairy. "Aaagh!"

"Ah fuck! You're squeezing me so hard!", the Black-White witch grunted in pleasure as the fairy's walls tightly squeezed around her dick. "But this isn't enough!"

Marisa then wrapped both of her hands on Daiyousei's neck.

"GGHHHLLK!"

Daiyousei immediately tried to pry the thief's hands off her neck, but the former was too strong and only laughed at the choking fairy's desperate clawing.

"Hell yeah! That's what I'm talkin' about!", the stealer of 'precious things' beamed between thrusts as she applies more pressure to asphyxiate the green-haired fairy. " Aw shit, I'm gonna bust a nut soon with the way your squeezing me! If knew it would feel this good, I would have done this a long time ago!"

By now, the Greater Fairy of Misty Lake was beginning to black out from the combined pain of her ravaged womanhood and the lack of air from the rapist-witch's choking of her neck. She wished that the witch would have just killed her with a Master Spark as they talked about instead of the slow death she is enduring right now.

"Can you feel me trying to get inside the entrance of your fairy womb, ze? I'm gonna knock you up before I kill you!~"

She could feel the massive cock of the witch kissing the entrance of her most precious place, trying to get in by force. She tightened her walls on the intruding phallus witch only caused the witch to moan loudly in pleasure at her resistance.

"FUCK YEAH, DA ZE! Here it comes, you stupid fairy! I'm gonna cum hard inside your tight little fairy cunt!"

Marisa quickened her pace erratically, grunting all the way. The Black-White thief wrung her hands until her nails were digging and drawing blood into the neck of poor Daiyousei, while the latter's eyes rolled to the back of her head as salivated foam seeped out of her mouth.

Too weak to protest and consciousness hanging by a thread and her will completely broken, Daiyousei accepted her fate in silence, excruciatingly painful as it is, knowing she will regenerate anyway once the witch is done with her. But she knew this memory will forever haunt her as long as she lives, regardless.

"Psst! Turn around for me will you, dear?"

However, she felt her consciousness returning when she suddenly felt Marisa's hold around her neck loosening. Quickly opening her eyes and catching her breath, she saw a shadowy figure bash Marisa square on the forehead just as the witch turned around.

_kh-thwack!_

"GUAAAAH! DA…ZE!"

_thud!_

Marisa's eyes rolled to the back of her head, and her tongue hung limply out her mouth as she was viciously knocked out cold by the figure.

But not before letting loose a river inside her would-be murder-sex victim.

Despite the large amount of cum overflowing and gushing out of the fairy's pussy in tiny rivulets, the amount of spunk the witch let out was plenty enough that it made the fairy's small stomach bloat, giving her the appearance of being a pregnant young girl.

"AAAAGGHHH! NO! It's flowing inside me!", screamed Daiyousei as she felt the hot release of the now unconscious Marisa filling up her womb to the brim with cum. "Haaaah! I-I'm cumming! I'm cumming! Uuaaahhhh!"

The little fairy's own release spurted out of her twitching cock as the foreign sensation of getting her tiny womb inflated with nothing but pure maiden milk sent her reeling over the edge, shooting out fairy jizz all over the unconscious form of the Black-White witch on top of her in the process.

"My word, you really are a pervert~", the figure chided as she kicked Marisa's knocked form off of me. "Getting off from being filled to the brim!"

"M-Miss Yuuka! What are you doing here!"

The savior of Daiyousei was none other than Gensokyo's one and only "U.S.C." or Ultimate Sadistic Creature for you gents and ladies out there who fancy long titles.

She was holding a bent rose-colored umbrella, which slowly fixed itself straight as if it was alive. "You forgot your regular clothes at my house, so I came to deliver them to your home."

Yuuka pointed to the small bag she was carrying containing the naked fairy's usual attire…Before they had that little situation back in The Garden of the Sun.

"Now then, what do we have here…"

Poking the body of the knocked-out thief with her umbrella, she turned to Daiyousei and noticed the blood mixed among the cum that was flowing between her legs. This made the Youkai MOE~ of Gensokyo drop the fairy's belongings to the ground.

Yuuka hissed venomously at the fallen witch. "Marisa. How low have you fallen."

The flower youkai aimed the tip of her umbrella at Marisa's face and began charging up a Master Spark. Daiyousei quickly got up, although shakily, and held Yuuka's arm holding the umbrella down.

"Miss Yuuka, no! don't kill her!"

"And why should I spare this vile excuse of a human being after she tore your flower apart?", the USC responded in a surprised tone, still keeping her aim at the witch's face. "She tried to kill you, Daiyousei. She needs to die."

"B-But it's okay! We fairies can come back to life and my hymen will regen-"

The flower youkai cut her off sharply. "That's not the bloody point, little one! Pain is pain, and no matter how many times you die and come back to life, the suffering and anguish you felt when you were violated by the likes of this person…That will stay with you as long as you live."

Yuuka pushed the green-haired fairy aside, but the latter resisted and stretched out her arms, intending to protect her rapist.

"I will not warn you again, little fairy.", Yuuka replied coldly. "Move or I will kill you too."

"NO! I WON'T! IT'S NOT RIGHT TO TAKE A LIFE! PLEASE STOP, MISS YUUKA!"

Yuuka said nothing as the fairy continued, the latter now beginning to cry tears.

"It's true that a lot of people don't care whether we live or die and some people kill us on sight because of it! Like you said, our pain will stay with us when we return to life. But killing Miss Marisa won't make that pain vanish! We have to accept it and move on no matter what!"

The little fairy was huffing tiredly from shouting, and barely able to stand from the pain of her torn insides.

"I've died a lot of times, and I'm used to it. It hurts. It hurts a lot and sometimes I wish the people who kill us fairies for granted understand our feelings. That we feel pain like any other living creature even though we come back to life thanks to Gensokyo's magical abundance."

Daiyousei fell to her knees and sobbed loudly.

"I hate dying! I hate it! I-I wish that…_hic_…That people would respect us too! I…_hic…_I…"

The USC sighed and lowered her umbrella as she knelt down and hugged the crying fairy. "I don't know if you are naïve, or as stupid as your little blue fairy friend, or both. But I will respect your decision, little one."

After patting the sobbing fairy and calming her down, Yuuka picked up her belongings and handed it to her before standing up and walking away.

"W-Wait Miss Yuuka!"

The flower youkai turned around. "Yes?"

"Um…I…Thank you for saving me."

Yuuka smile genuinely and went up to Daiyousei. "Don't mention it little one."

She then gently groped Daiyousei's cock.

"But I still want you to come back sometime this week, okay?"

Daiyousei pushed the woman's hand away and puffed her cheeks as Yuuka began wiping the tears from her eyes with a handkerchief. "You sure know how to ruin a moment, Miss Yuuka!"

The latter just laughed and patted the little fairy playfully on the head.

"There's a small stream just near here. We need to wash you up before you go home", Yuuka inquired, spotting the dress she gave Daiyousei behind a nearby tree. "Wouldn't want your ice fairy friend to worry about you now, would we?"

Daiyousei blew a raspberry at Yuuka who threw her the dress in response as the two flew off exchanging insults, leaving the unconscious, naked form of the Black-White witch on the ground.

Except she wasn't really unconscious.

Marisa heard the whole thing shortly after she regained consciousness about some time upon hearing Yuuka aim the umbrella on her head and charging it up for a Master Spark.

She heard Daiyousei stood up for her even though she viciously raped the latter and even tried to kill her.

She heard the fairy's thoughts and feelings as well.

Despite the abuse she gave the fairy through her words and actions…

Despite the pain of death she inflicted on the fairy in the past…

The little fairy known as Daiyousei stood up for her and saved her from being killed.

The thief curled up into a fetal position and silently cried.

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**Afterword: **Well, damn…I really wanted this to be a bunch of humorous short stories, but this took a life of it's own and I just began typing on random intervals, haha~

The next chapter will be a new set of crack-pairings and will be more humorous and less drama…

Anyway, tell me if I have any spelling errors and whatnot and your thoughts on this chapter...

Eh, whatever...I don't even know what the hell I wrote...I might go back to my other Touhou guro/crime story...G'night~


	3. Chapter 3 The Darkness In The Crow

**Foreword:** And here we are again after a long time…I'm going to try to keep this as short (even though this one will be longer than the previous one due to certain plot elements I'll introduce ) as possible since some people have complained about the length (Although you can PM me or leave a review regarding that matter) of the chapters.

Also, some readers have been turned-off by my focusing on certain body-parts of the girls here and I know what you are getting at. This is a "**FUTANARI**" (Hermaphrodite, in English) themed story and I will be focusing on those parts a lot amongst other things and less on the female parts.

The third chapter of this story will be told mostly from the perspective of a certain paparazzi living on Youkai Mountain.

I'm basing her (perverse) personality from one of the very first Touhou doujins (just after **SHOOT THE BULLET**'s release a few years ago) by an English author depicting her as having a HUGE armpit fetish ever since she saw Reimu stretch her arms over her head when she was spying on her. And the rest of the doujin was pretty much her trying to convince herself she did not have an armpit-fetish~

Then again, I DID warn you all in the story summary about the fetishes and genres this will entail once you've stepped through the gap…At least no girl will ever die in this naughty series of short stories, so it's all good~

Well, that's all there is to say on this long-ass foreword…On with the show~

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**Gensokyo Erotic Incidents: Chapter 3 - The Darkness Inside The Crow**

Summer is almost over here in Gensokyo. Gone will be the hot rays of the sun, the bristling heat of the stone steps of the Moriya shrine, and even the sight of Nitori in her black tank-top with her armpits exposed. I'm very relieved and at the same time sad that this hot and scorching season is coming to an end.

I'm going to miss out seeing a lot of waki exposure from the lovely maidens living here.

"Yes…Especially Reimu's bare armpits," I drooled dreamily, a trail of saliva leaking out of the side of my mouth and a developing nosebleed seeping down and mixing with said saliva.

Oh yes, I forgot to introduce myself! I'm the one-and-only Aya Shameimaru! Ace reporter and journalist, owner of Bunbunmaru News (which is the number 1 newspaper here in Gensokyo) and dispenser of the truth! And only the truth!

Anyway, for those of you youkai and fairies living under a rock, Gensokyo has a new law that came into effect a couple of months ago regarding fairy and youkai abuse and extermination.

It was a joint effort by the Myouren Temple led by Byakuren Hijiri, the Human Village lead by it's representatives Akyu-chan, uh, I mean Heida Akyuu and Kamishirasawa Keine, the head honcho of the border, Yukari Yakumo, and surprisingly Daiyousei and Marisa Kirisame.

Now, I know Daiyousei isn't out of place in the whole thing, but Marisa's presence came as a shock to this tengu reporter. Marisa is very well known (and feared) in Gensokyo for being a walking weapon of mass destruction as well as a stealer of hearts and magical trinkets.

She will also blast anyone to ashes with her infamous Master Spark if they get in the way of her 'borrowing'.

But she, along with Daiyousei, were the first ones to approach the Youkai Jesus of Gensokyo about the matter, and in a day the law came into effect after the latter made some (angry) phone calls to Grandma Gappy.

It's strange…It's as if Yukari Yakumo already knew about Daiyousei's (and Marisa's) plight before even Byakuren called her about making the new law after a repentant Marisa pressed her on. Keine and Akyuu-chan were all too eager to put it in effect too since it was a shining chance to finally make peace between humans, youkais and fairies.

* * *

><p>The law reads as:<p>

"Starting at the date of **XX****XX****XXXX**** (****effective ****immediately****)**, no one should harm, abuse, kill, or rape any fairy or youkai for personal gain, amusement, or outright prejudice and hatred. Any human found doing so will be subjected to disciplinary actions by Kamishirasawa Keine during the night of the Full Moon for a one-on-one **'CAVING' **session.

Fairies and youkai always come back to life, but the pain of death will linger on forever and humans should be considerate of this.

This is where the **JUDGMENT** system comes in.

To be fair, fairies and youkai who have wronged humans (I.E. stealing crops, doing harmful pranks, danmaku play without warning) can instead be 'punished' only in the presence of a **'JUDGE'**.

**JUDGES** will be an all-female cast composed of youkai, fairy, gods, humans, and other races as a diversified effort for equal treatment. (They will be stationed all around Gensokyo and will be available whether you live in the deepest underground caverns to the highest clouds, so there's no excuse~)

The law also affects fairies and youkai too, so don't think it's all butterflies and rainbows. Humans who have wronged fairies and youkai (I. E. attempted murder, lynch mobs, public torture and execution, rape and slavery) will _ALSO_ get the same 'punishment' from a **JUDGE**.

The **JUDGE**will exercise her authority to give the offending youkai, human, or fairy their punishment. It can range from working to fix what they broke/stole/vandalized, to helping out the person(s) they wronged via house-chores or other menial tasks and work.

Punishments are all work-related, but in some circumstances they can be much more if the offended party is horny-er, I mean if they seek to punish the offender with intimate means instead.

_(Wooden horses, whips, vibrators, dildos, cock-rings, enemas and other 'torture' devices will be provided if none are available.)_

The **JUDGEMENT** system applies for those who cannot use danmaku or spell cards as well, as opposed to the **SPELL****CARD** system. But you can use it too if you're feeling frisky and you do not wish to use anything danmaku-related.

In short:

_**NO ONE CAN KILL ANYONE OR THERE WILL BE SOME SEVERE DICKINGS UP YOUR ASS! (**Sexual Punishment is A-OK, though!)_

_**THE SPELL CARD SYSTEM IS THERE FOR A REASON~ **_

I encourage everyone to try this new **JUDGEMENT** system if you want to skip to the futa sex-uh, I mean a danmaku-free and peaceful resolution. Let us make Gensokyo a much more safer paradise for the maidens (and few males) living here~

**-Yukari Yakumo**

(Border Queen and Patriarch of Gensokian Affairs)

**-Keine Kamishirasawa**

(School Teacher, History Writer and Late-Night Punishment Giver)

**-Akyuu Heida**

(History Keeper and Loli Know-It-All)

**-Hijiri Byakuren**

(Youkai Jesus and Founder of Myourenism)

* * *

><p>I myself support this law since I don't really want to harm any fairies or youkai.<p>

"_I'd rather fuck them~"_

The ordinary humans who can't use danmaku often exterminate youkai and fairies by more physical methods like stabbing and bludgeoning with their farming tools. One time I witnessed a group of humans composed of 2 females and 1 males executing a fairy by hanging her and watching her die from asphyxiation.

I felt sick, but I couldn't turn away from the scene as I watched her draw her last breath, her body turning into magical energy that disperses into the sky to be reborn and regenerate.

But I must admit, who knew my photos of that fairy mistreatment and execution fully-cemented this law into the history books? Byakuren was royally pissed when I presented her the photos when she visited my house regarding her Myouren Temple gathering. I swear, I never saw the bubbly Youchrist rage all about it in the Human Village (she even had a megaphone).

I'm pretty happy, though…Now I'll get to see a whole lot of fucking going around between offender and punisher thanks to the "No Killing For Whatever Reason Law"~

"More fap material for me," I drooled as I try to keep my developing hard-on from escaping my panties. "Damn, I better fix this…"

Anyway…

Today at 3:00 P.M of a very serene Wednesday afternoon, I'm visiting the Garden of the Sun to check out on some rumors of Gensokyo's resident kleptomaniac, Marisa Kirisame, frequently visiting the mansion of one Yuuka Kazami.

Now, Yuuka Kazami is know as Gensokyo's U.S.C. (Ultimate Sadistic Creature) for a very, very good reason. She's known to go out of her way to torture, torment, annoy, bother, harass, molest, and outright rape anyone she fancies. They then usually end up as her plaything.

But that's not the scary part…

The scary part is that _**they **__**keep**__** coming **__**back **__**willingly **_to her house to be tortured by her, day-in and day-out. At first, it was only Wriggle Nightbug and her very own door guard, Elly who is subjected to her sexually sadistic treatment, but as I soon found out about a month ago, that cute Greater Fairy by the name of Daiyousei, usually found hanging around Cirno ,had joined her little harem.

3 months ago, when I visited (without Yuuka knowing, of course) the Garden of the Sun…

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Flying close to the only house in the midst of the vast field of sunflowers, I carefully flew down and checked the surroundings for Elly, Yuuka's door guard and for Yuuka herself. The last thing I want is to end up as fertilizer for the flowers here.

With the coast clear, I flew nearer until I was crouching under one of the living room windows in the first floor of the USC's abode.

I slowly peeked inside and was greeted to the sight of a bound and naked Elly being double-penetrated by a leather-clad Wriggle and Yuuka. The former had a ball-gag stuck on her mouth and her eyes were blind-folded. The shaft of her 8-inch cock was bound in painful-looking leather straps as was her balls, probably to prevent her from cumming.

"_Holy Kanako! It's a good old-fashioned threesome!," _I though in surprise, my eyes budging at the sight.

It doesn't take a pervert to know that the door guard was enjoying it despite how painful it looked to someone with no knowledge of the subject.

"It's quite a shame that you've allowed that cute wandering youkai to eat all of the fruits from the trees on that part of the garden, my dear Elly," Yuuka grunted between hard thrusts. "I was looking forward on planting those little ones near our mansion."

This drew my attention away from the scene for a bit. "I wonder who she's referring to."

Meanwhile, Elly remained silent until a sharp thrust from her derriere convinced her otherwise, snapping me back to the events at hand.

"How does it feel to have Wriggle-kun sowing seeds in your dirt-field while I ravage your flower garden, Elly? I bet you've never felt a foreign sensation like that in your services to me~"

I found my both of my hands snaking down and stroking my already hard cock and damp panties from the scene before me. As Yuuka and Wriggle thrust into Elly, I time it with the stroking of my cock and fingering my wet folds.

"Damn skirt," I said, taking off the offending article of clothing in a second.

I could feel more juices flowing out of my exposed pussy, and my throbbing cock was leaking pre-cum like crazy from the beautiful sight before me. Stifling a loud moan, I continued my self-ministrations while trying to keep up with the show before me.

Finally, Elly gave out an audible scream despite the ball-gag muffling the sounds of her pleasured cries. She came hard as Wriggle and Yuuka simultaneously filled both of her holes with their maiden milk, and the sight of the three of them cumming with their faces contorted in sheer ecstasy was enough to send me over the edge as well as I let loose my tengu paste and nectar unto the walls below the window where I was peeping on this intimate act.

For a few moments, all was silent. I was breathing raggedly and basking in the afterglow of my violent orgasm from both my cock and pussy. I found both of my hands to be drenched in my own pussy juice and cum, which I unconsciously began licking and lapping up as if on impulse.

I basked in the fleeting feelings of pleasure between my legs. "Hihi, this could become a habit."

That is, until I heard a rich, British voice filled with lust from behind my not-so-hidden vantage point.

"My word, Miss Shameimaru…Leaving a lot of evidence of your journalistic voyeurism is very unprofessional behavior for someone of your caliber in truth seeking~"

In a split second, I grabbed my loose dress and shot up in the air. I didn't care that I was naked from the waist below with my cock and balls flailing about, because I knew the owner of that voice would do very, very bad things to me if she caught me. Daring to turn around for a moment, I saw Yuuka seductively licking the evidence of my activities off the wall from which I made my vantage point.

_wink_

_wink_

_smile_

_lick_

Sufficed to say, I was flying away with a raging hard-on thanks to that parting, hot sight.

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And now here I was again.

Going down to the same place I made my investigation from last time, I found that the part of the wall where my spunk landed had a little note attached to it with a little intricate sunflower emblem marked with wax on it. It smelled like lilacs, judging from the scented paper used.

The note read:

* * *

><p>To my lovely voyeuristic journalist.<p>

_**I loved the taste of your seed.**_ This is not the first time I tasted it either since you always stay at that spot to plant them when I play with my pets inside the house.

Let us properly meet for some tea~

The next time you feel the need to plant some seeds outside my living room window, I would be very happy if you would instead plant them inside the house with us.

Or if you prefer, I can _**plant**__** my**__** seeds **__**inside**__** your**__** secret**__** garden **_in private~

-Love,

**Yuuka Kazami **

**XOXOXO**

(P.S. Call my cell phone if you want to do it. I'll be waiting eagerly. 333-YUUKAZAMI)

* * *

><p>Somewhat shocked and appalled at the simple sounding note full of sexual innuendo from the U.S.C's unexpected and sudden intimate interest for this tengu reporter, my first thought was to crumple it, tear it into a hundred pieces, and throw it away in shreds.<p>

I instead shoved it hastily in my shirt pocket. "I guess I don't want to upset her."

Slowly, I peered inside the house's living room, expecting to find some delicious display of female fornication.

"What the heck? No ones there!"

I peered around the front, and even Elly was not present at her usual post on the front gate. Furthermore, the lights in the house and front gate are not even on. This made me realize that they are probably out and about in Gensokyo (probably in the Human Village buying necessities, since I saw the two of them there on a peeping-er, I mean on an interview trip once).

I disappointingly flew away from the mansion and thought about the note that Yuuka left me. Fall is a season of sadness, and a season of expectancy for someone like me.

I've never really been in a relationship before, since it was usually a one-night stand with random girls, much less a threesome like that cute mouse from the Myouren temple and a certain moon rabbit from Eintei. (A/N: Events based on a Touhou futa hentai crack-pairing doujin called Lunatic Udon by Radiohead that I got commissioned)

Now that was intense~

"Ugh, no time for day dreams. Gotta find some juicy ass-uh, I mean scoop for my article this Sunday," I thought to myself while shaking my head. "Bunbunmaru needs more readers!"

It's pass 2:00 P.M. now and I really should get on with an article or two. I was almost in the outskirts of the Garden of the Sun when a strange ball of darkness floating near one of the apple trees caught my attention.

There's only one person in Gensokyo who has powers over darkness, albeit weak as heck despite the bad-ass title.

"Rumia? What are you doing here?," I asked the ball of darkness as I got close. "Rumia!"

"EH!"

_thud!_

A figure of a small blond child tumbled out of the ball of darkness. She is wearing a white-sleeved black dress with a red necktie around her neck, and she had a red ribbon like amulet planted nicely on the left side of her head. This, my dear readers, is by no means an ordinary child.

She is Rumia of the Darkness. If you've heard of this cute girl, then good for you.

Rumia is a member of a band of cute misfits and trouble-makers called "Team 9", which is composed of Wriggle, Mystia, herself, Daiyousei, Chen, and of course the ice-fairy of Misty Lake and self-proclaimed 'strongest' in Gensokyo, Cirno. Of course, sometimes other girls (usually other loli-youkai) become honorary and temporary members depending on the prank-in-progress that they pull~

Anyway, I have learned from a certain source in the Human Village that Rumia's childish appearance is the result of her powers being kept at bay by the very ribbon she wore on her head. No one knows what her true form is, but this reporter is very happy with her current form, hihihi.

"Oh yes, so ripe and ready…I could just strip her down and lick her all over," I said out loud.

I shook my head and noticed that Rumia had dusted herself off and had a puzzled look on her face as I was lost in my fantasies.

"Is that so~?"

Holy Kanako! She heard me!

"Uh Rumia, I was just talking about that apple hanging over there," I lied, sweating bullets as I looked at the ground. "See, that big one over there!"

Pointing at a random part of the apple tree, I saw Rumia fly up and examine the spot. A second later, she came down and held a ridiculously huge apple with both of her hands.

"You're right~ Thanks, Miss Aya!"

Before I could even respond back, the little youkai comically gulped down the big apple in one gulp down her maw. Rumia gnashed it with her deceptively sharp teeth like a piece of cheese going through a steel grater.

_munch_

_gnash_

_gulp!_

Yep. That abnormally huge apple was gone just like that.

"Ah~ That was delicious!," began Rumia with a smile, but a rumbling from her belly turned it into a frown. "Better eat the rest!"

Wait a moment here. Could she be…

"_It's quite a shame that you've allowed that cute wandering youkai to eat all of the fruits from the trees on that part of the garden."_

Rumia's the one who's been mooching off Yuuka Kazami's fruits! By Momizi's hot armpits, she's going to turn this cute little youkai into fertilizer! I better get her out of here before they come back. See? I'm a kind journalist, haha!

"Say Rumia, you're still hungry right?," I said, as I grabbed Rumia's arm before she could fly back to get more apples. "I got more juicy food in my house than these apples!"

Rumia felt silent for a second, then drooled. "Is that so~? Do you have meat?"

The drooling mouth of the cute youkai before me was enough to make my wood-pecker start a tent in my skirt. Rumia noticed it immediately and her face turned into naive confusion.

"Er, yes…I have plenty of meat at my house! In fact I have wild boar, chicken, beef, pork, salmon, and even fresh-water giant crabs!"

I was lucky since Rumia forgot about my hard-on and instead grabbed my hand.

"Let's go, Miss Aya! Let's go!"

And just like that, Rumia dragged me off straight to the direction of Youkai Mountain with a raging hard-on between my legs.

Luckily, I'm wearing my skirt and panties this time.

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When we got to my modest, middle-sized house (it's good to have photos to bribe certain people to build you a nice pad), it was already dusk and the sun was barely out on the sky. Luckily, Gensokyo is now a bit-by-bit getting modernized thanks to my cute Nitori, uh, I mean a certain Kappa living in Youkai Mountain (and a certain hot gap youkai).

Electric streetlights made from magical stones and wired with electrical wires connecting to a few sources of water (hydro energy or whatever the heck Nitori calls it) makes them shine by artificial means, illuminating the main roadways and providing a source of light for youkai and human alike.

Anyway, I was very tired…And very, very horny. I spent the entire day interviewing certain villagers, youkai, and gods (as well as taking fap material, uh, I mean reference photos of said villagers, youkai, and gods for tomorrow's paper).

The Hakurei Reitaisai is coming up and I want everyone to know the beauty of Reimu's armpits!

Nonchalantly, I took off everything and stripped to my panties, not caring that Rumia is stuffing herself on the fridge (and not that she'll notice since my kitchen is a good distance away from my room) and went back to my room to release some pent up sexual frustrations using my candid photos of Gensokyo's maidens.

Plopping on my bed, I took off my panties as well, whipped out my cock and started stroke-Wait a minute. I have a cute little youkai girl in my house at this very moment. I'm a very horny tengu with a throbbing hard-on right now.

And she does owe me for eating a whole week of food.

"No! Bad Aya! I can't stoop to the level of those lecherous men (and a hell of a lot of women) hanging around little Akyu's house in the Human Village!," I huffed, not noticing the blood and drool seeping down my nose and mouth. "I'm better than them!"

Above my head, a 'chibi Koakuma' is having a fight with a 'chibi Daiyousei'. Wait, shouldn't it be an angel-like figure at least?

Snapping me from the moral battle, as if a certain loli vampire used her powers of fate on me, Rumia burst into the room in her usual 'saint on a cross' pose. Boy, did I turn white as a sheet.

"Miss Aya, what are you doing~"

I tried to hide my 12 inch peacock under a pillow. "Nothing! And what are you doing in my room! I thought you're eating!"

"I'm done eating~," says Rumia as she burped cutely. "I just want to say thanks for the food! You're very kind, Miss Aya."

Rumia just had to give me that cute smile (I HNNGGGGGH inwardly at the bits of food sticking on her plump little cheeks) with that cute voice of hers.

I looked above. The 'chibi Koakuma' and 'chibi Daiyousei' above my head were fucking each other, raining their imaginary pussy juice and cum on my face.

**[PERVERTED TENGU-SAN - MORAL BREAK]**

"Hey Rumia, do you want to eat a really tasty, sticky food? It's similar to milk, and I have plenty of it!"

The darkness youkai tilted her head. "Is it delicious?"

"Oh yes, very! Girls (and some guys) love it! But to make it more interesting for a girl like you, let's play an adult 'Tickling Game'! You'll have to be blindfolded and remain standing there while I do some, uh, actions that will make you laugh. If you laugh, I won't give it to you!"

Rumia nodded happily. Goddess Kanako, thank you for this delicious bounty.

Taking out a handkerchief from the dresser next to me, I beckoned Rumia to turn around. I then tied it around her head and made sure that she could not see anything in front of her. This reporter is so lucky to have such a naive and cute little youkai all to herself. If only I would have done this sooner…All those lonely nights of doing it alone…

Anyway, Rumia was now blind-folded and she assumed her usual 'crucified saint' pose. The first time I saw it, I thought she was a retarded moron, but now it makes my nose bleed every time I see her act like this. And now, I get to do one of my most illicit fantasies ever since I was converted into a waki-loving pervert!

"N-Now Rumia, don't move!"

To start, I began smelling her soft hair and slowly take in the scent. She smells like flowers, but I dismissed that from her hanging around Yuuka's garden. Then I slowly sniff the nape of her neck, then her shoulders, until I came into the target of my fetish.

Sticking my nose in the pit of her sleeve, I took a long whiff.

Rumia's armpits smelled like fresh apples with a hint of lemon. Then again, all she ate was apples for a while now according to her story of why she was hanging out in Yuuka's fruit garden.

"M-Miss Aya, what are you doing?," Rumia quipped, obviously trying to hold in her laugh as continued to sniff her loli-youkai armpits. "T-That doesn't tickle!"

Now, I know the majority of you might be gagging from this venerable tengu's fetishes of maiden pits. If you can love certain smelly places in the lower body where body excrements like piss and shit comes out along with sweat and dirt, then there's really nothing to gag about in my love for a place where only sweat comes out of~

That said, I began sucking Rumia's armpit through her clothes. I can taste the slightly salty taste mixing with the fabric of her clothing, which almost made me lose my load all over the floor. How I have dreamed of something like this with Reimu's armpits for so many nights.

The smell and taste was intoxicating. Rumia will do just fine~

I had my share of one-night stands in Gensokyo with certain girls like I said before, but I never had the guts to ask them if I could like 'this' place. In a way, I'm afraid that I'll get shunned because of it, and partially because I am not comfortable with asking older girls.

But I'm really thankful that Rumia is too stupid and naïve to even protest against this. Hey! Don't look at me like that! I feel shame too for taking advantage of the little meat eater, but I'm not going to let this chance pass by! It's not like I'm the only lolicon in Gensokyo, since the likes of Eirin, Sakuya, Sanae, and even Reimu are well-known to be 'predators of youkai'. Then again, Rumia's over 50 years old, age wise...She's probably older than I am!

After being satisfied from licking her armpits, I decided to make a higher bet against the fates. "Rumia, can you take off your clothes? That way, I can tickle you better."

"Is that so~? OK!"

The naive youkai of darkness then proceeded to strip all her clothing until she was wearing only her birthday suit. And to this tengu reporter's surprise, the package between little Rumia's leg betrays her small stature. From her cute foreskin to the base of her balls, the entire length of her semi-erect cock was around 10 inches! I was tempted to shove the entire thing in my mouth.

Her crotch was just like how I imagined it to be, which was hairless and smooth. I wanted to take Rumia then and there, but that would probably freak the little blond youkai out if I go that route.

_nosebleed_

And then there was her armpits…Her bare loli-youkai armpits was as smooth as the rest of her light skin complexion. I thank whatever force that controls Gensokyo that we never have to worry about something as evil as armpit hair (even the men don't have them)~

Goddess Kanako, I will offer you so much faith (and get rid of those photos of you screwing Sanae behind Suwako's back) for answering my prayers!

"R-Rumia-chan, can you do your usual pose again, but this time I want you to clamp on an object I'm going to shove in one of your armpits," I instructed the blond youkai, wiping the drool and blood off my face.

The blind-folded (and oblivious) Rumia hesitantly allowed me to shove my throbbing crow-cock between her left armpit. I involuntarily moved back and forth and tested the 'tightness' of this unexplored territory in a maiden's body.

"N-Now clamp it as tight as you can and don't move!"

Rumia did so, and I had to stifle a moan as one of my most perverse and wildest fantasies finally came true. The only time I've seen _bag__-__piping__ (__armpit__fucking__)* _was on those really kinky hentai doujins I got from Kaguya.

(A/N: * It's real, look it up…It's also a very popular fetish with certain hentai artists in Pixiv and hentai doujins who focus on certain anime girls like Saber Lily and Hatsune Miku and others with exposed armpits due to their clothing~

As for Touhou, there is a ton of fan-arts of 'bag-piping' in Pixiv…Mostly of Reimu, but I have collected a few with Sanae and even some very rare solo pics with Tewi, Eirin, Kanako, Mokou, Suika, Ran, Momizi, Letty, Parsee, Yuugi, Alice, Yuyuko, Shou, Yukari, and even Satori getting their armpits creamed on~)

"A-Ah, what are you doing to my armpit, Miss Aya?," Rumia said between clenched lips as she tries to hold in the sensation of my cock tickling her armpit. "I-Is this part of the game?"

"Yes, yes it is Rumia-chan! J-Just bear with it for a few minutes and I'll give you that yummy treat I promised!"

Oh fuck! This is the best! If I knew it would feel this good, I would have jumped Rumia when I met her for that interview! I better take a photo of this for future memories~

Grabbing my video-camera from atop a nearby shelf, I took began filming. "Haah…Ahh, Rumia! Fuck! Clamp your armpit more!"

A few thrusts between Rumia's tight little armpit and I was already reaching my limit! I mean, I'm the fastest in Gensokyo, but that doesn't mean I'm fast at having sex since I have a lot of sexual stamina in bed!

Like every other pervert-er, person I enjoy the prolonged feeling of pleasure and always try to stay in that 'zone' when I engage in my one-night (or several night) stands with certain girls here in Gensokyo.

I felt a sudden tightening around my cock. "Ahihihihaha! You win, Miss Aya! You're tickling my armpit too much!"

The unexpected tightness and Rumia's reaction from my bag-piping was enough to make me lose control over my cock, as I raised her arm up and sprayed my pent up crow-cum all over her armpit.

"Uuaahhh! Oh, merciful Byakuren! FUCK!," I cried in pleasure as I shoved my cock deep in the little youkai's tight armpits. "Ahh! R-Rumia! Open your mouth, quickly!"

After I emptied my balls of their contents until Rumia's right armpit was soaked in cum and ripping down to her waist. I then bent down and lapped away as much of my own cum from Rumia's armpit with my tongue and brought my mouth to hers for a cream-filled kiss.

I met no resistance as my cum-soaked tongue prodded her own. She moaned and shook a bit from the sudden oral sensation, but quickly recovered and danced her tongue with mine.

After a minute of stirring my own cum inside her mouth with both of our tongues, I broke our kiss and took of her blindfold.

"Swallow it, Rumia. It's the food I promised."

The blond youkai, her eyes adjusting to the room's light, swallowed my thick cum with a cute gulping sound as I took several more photos of her cum-covered armpit and mouth.

I waited for her reaction.

"It's tasty~!," Rumia chirped happily as she licked the bit of cum that spilled from her lips. "Miss Aya, What kind of drink was that? Can I have more~?"

"You want more, Rumia? Jeez, you're really hungry aren't you? You're going to have to take it from the source if you want second helpings!"

It's now or never. She's either going to scream and freak out that the 'food' she just tasted came from my dick, or she'll just gawk at it and stand there like an idiot from shock. Oh, sweet Byakuren, forgive me for what I am about to do to this naive little youkai.

I brought my cock to her face.

"M-Miss Aya…"

Oh man, I knew this was (literally) a dick move.

"Wow~ You have a big penis!"

"EH!," I sputtered, not expecting her happy reaction on seeing my engorged member shoved a couple of inches away from her face. "Y-You don't think it's scary?"

Rumia smiled and grasped my throbbing tengu staff with her left hand. "It's looks pretty tasty~"

Wow. This youkai thinks of nothing but filling up her little stomach even at a time like this when I'm taking advantage-uh, when I'm showing her my affection! I guess this will work…

"Hey Rumia-chan, there's more of my milk on your armpit," I inquired with a grin. "Why don't you finish it off before I give you more?"

"Is that so~"

Rumia looked at her sticky armpit (courtesy of this reporter) and then slowly scooped my cum off of it with her fingers. She then brought the thick substance to her mouth and licked them off with a whimsical look on her face.

Ohohoho, it's not everyday you get to see cute little Rumia lick someone's cum off her armpit and eat it!

_snap_

_snap_

_snap_

This video camera was worth the cash. I'm going to be saving this in my scrap book when all of this is over.

"Rumia-chan, what I'm about to do will make you hate me," I began as I bent down to her level and nervously touched her soft cheeks. "Do you know what sex is? The delicious milk will only come out if you help me through sex!"

Rumia tilted her head to the side and gave me a puzzled look, then she quickly beamed up into a wide smile.

"Sex? Oh~ That's what Miss Keine taught us all about it including what a penis and a vagina is last week! She even showed us these cool positions from a book she borrowed from Voile called The Kamasutra!"

Note to self, ask Keine if she has been relieving her pent-up sexual stress inside a certain immortal tsundere. And if possible, offer her some late-night comfort for teaching Rumia all about it.

The little blond youkai continued. "But she told us to only have sex with the ones we love~ Because a girl's first time is special!"

I 'HNNNNNNGGGH' inwardly at the cute naivety and decided to gamble it all on this final move. For a while, I've always wanted to try this on someone smaller than me.

"Rumia, you can fuck my butt instead," I say in an almost soft whisper as I laid down in bed and showed her my puckered, pink rosebud.

"W-Wha..!"

Spreading my anus open with two wet fingers (and not bothering to stifle my moans), I began preparing myself for the youkai of darkness's girl-cock "Go ahead and stick your penis in there! If you do it this way, you won't have to spend your first time since it's my butt AND you'll get your delicious milk!"

I looked between Rumia's legs and her cute little cock was twitching slightly at my little show and before I knew it, was standing up in attention. A noticeable bit of pre-cum can be seen dripping down from her uncut dick, and down to her plump scrotum and pussy.

"I-Is that so~," the blond youkai said, positioning herself at the entrance of my ass in a mercenary position as if on instinct. Or thanks to Keine's 'book'. "O-Okay! Rumia will give it her all!"

Grasping my own cock that grew hard at the sight of her own, I nearly shot my load when Rumia's cock entered my ass and immediately hit my prostate. Oh Kanako, I never knew being on the receiving end could feel so fucking good!

"Yes! A-Ahh! Right there, Rumia!," I cried out as I pumped my cock and stroked my pussy in tune with Rumia's thrusting. "Aaaahhnn! Uuuaah! Y-You're a natural at this! Aaah! Rumia!"

"Haaah! Mmmmnnggh! Aya! Aya! Your butt feels so **GOOD**!"

"Oww! R-Rumia, be careful! Aaaahhh!"

As if possessed, Rumia only sped up her thrusting and ravaged my ass with her cock and ignored my pleas to slow down. It's like she's a totally different girl from the naïve one I totally took advantage off. I stopped stroking both my cock and pussy and stared at her face.

Or rather…Her eyes.

Rumia's eyes are completely black, and her irises glowed a faint crimson.

"**SO GOOD! SO GOOD!"**

Whatever was fucking me was not Rumia. At least not in mind and spirit. Is this divine retribution for a lonely reporter like me after I took advantage of this cute little youkai! Oh shit! I-I think my ass is going to be split in half if she keeps going like this! Oh goddess Kanako, I'm actually about to come despite the pain!

"Oh Rumia! Nnggaaahh! I'm going to cum! Haaahh! M-My ass! My ass is going to break!"

As if on instinct, the rabid little youkai opened her mouth and began sucking on my pre-cum leaking dick. I rubbed my pussy as I approached my limit at break-neck speed.

"**LET ****IT**** OUT****! ****LET ****THE ****DELICIOUS**** MILK**** OUT****!****"**

"Ahhhhh! Rumia! Open your mouth wide, you greedy girl!", I screamed in a mix of pain and pleasure as I emptied the contents of my cock and balls into Rumia's gaping maw. "Eat it all!"

The taste of my thick cum in her mouth also made Rumia reach her own climax as I hear her let out an animalistic, guttural roar and felt her fill my abused rectum to overflowing amounts with her girl milk. I have never felt like this even compared to that one-night stand I had with Reisen and Nazrin. Even when I took advantage of a drunk Hatate on a drinking binge a few weeks ago.

This was beyond all that.

Breathing heavily, Rumia withdrew from this reporter's aching derriere and proceeded to suck the remnants of her 'food' from my softening dick. I could smell our act on the sheets as a wave of strong odors composed of our mixed pussy juice and cock milk permeated the air of the room.

Exhausted from the act (and the fact that I can't feel my ass and my groin), I drifted into a peaceful sleep as Rumia continued to suckle the milk out of my soft dick…

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When I woke up, the little youkai of darkness was nowhere to be seen. Instead, I read a small note near my work desk that said 'Thank you for the milk~ Love, Rumia' written crudely with one of my pencils.

"Naive till the end. I hope she keeps it to herself though," I say to no one as I put on my panties and a loose nightie. "Then again, no one really believes what Rumia says, so it should be fine…"

My thoughts drift back to how Rumia tasted. Her smell, her sweet, and the feel of my cock in her soft and bare, loli-youkai armpits. It didn't take a second before I realize my nose was bleeding and I was smiling from ear to ear.

If I ever see Rumia again, I'll be sure to give her some 'food' in exchange for her delicious body again (especially her armpits)! Oh, Goddess Kanako…I'm such a perverted girl.

"Wait! The video cam!"

I went to check on it, and it was still rolling. But more importantly…

"WHERE'S THE TAPE!"

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_ring_

_vibrate_

_ring_

_vibrate_

(Rumia's Theme song "A Soul as Red as Ground Cherry" plays on the cell phone)

_beep_

"Hello~"

"_So how did it go, my cute little ball of darkness?"_

"Miss Aya's milk was delicious! It was super thick and smells really nice!"

"_I told you it was tasty, since I have tasted it myself on several occasions when she visits my house. I trust you had a feast?"_

"Yes~ I'm so full right now!"

"_Good, good…You are a growing girl after all! You have the tape, I trust?"_

"Uh huh, it's just like you said~ She made a recording of the whole thing! I'll drop by later!"

"_Very good! I will see you later, Rumia-chan! There is a big basket full of apples waiting for you in my humble house…And some of my milk, if you still have room for dessert."_

-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-

**Afterword:** With that, we are done~ I hope you all enjoyed this tale of apples and milk..! There's no shame in reviewing or sending me a personal PM of what you think of this crack-pairing and scenario, so ask away..!

Haha, this is the only futanari Touhou story in FF with crack-pairings…I hope others will write yuri crack-pairings too, be they safe or full of maiden milk~

The next chapter will probably be around this time next month, but I'm not making any promises since the mood hits me and whatnot…I get my inspiration from the tons of English-translated Touhou futanari crack-pairing doujins I have, so I might surprise you~


	4. Chapter 4 When It Rains

**Foreword:** Damn, almost a month and a week, eh..?

Then again, I did tell you all I would update when inspiration hits me~

Anyway…

This time, I will be keeping the format and going for a more noticeable border when I shift between the scenes and dialogue (since I f*cking hate FF's new format and just the way they messed up and limited a lot of things), although this will remain a P.O.V. and that will matter little~

You might notice a shift in writing, since I want to try something new involving certain dialogue during some of the scenes in this chapter (due to some people telling me that the sex scenes grossed them the unholy hell out, I minimized it…BUT JUST FOR THIS CHAPTER, kekekekekekeke)…

Again, be open-minded of their 'extra package' and enjoy the show…

**-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-**6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-6-9-****6-9-6-9-6-9-********

**Gensokyo Erotic Incidents: Chapter 4 - When It Rains…**

It happened again.

_drip_

_drip_

_drip_

How many times has it happened? I think I lost count after those villagers threw rocks at my head for trying to surprise them. And failing horribly.

_drip_

_drip_

_drip_

It's raining again.

How many times did it rain on days like this? I think I lost count after every miserably failed attempt at surprising people eventually resulted in a rock being thrown at my forehead.

_drip_

_drip_

_drip_

And so I flew away from my tormentors.

My clothes are soaking wet even though my umbrella part is taking most of the brunt of the storm. It looks like this won't be-

_crakoom!_

"Kyaaaa!"

I hate it when an afternoon drible turns into a full-blown storm. Despite being an Umbrella Youkai and having experienced the worst that mother nature had to offer, I'm still afraid of something as childish as a little thunder.

"Aaaaahhhh!"

_crash! _

And as a result, I fell face first into the hard, rain-drenched earth.

"I can't see anything in this downpour", I mutter in pain as I slowly got up from the ground and steadied my umbrella counter-part to keep her from being blown away by the strong winds. "Ugh, I guess flying is out of the question."

Without any other choice, I ran and ran away from the Human Village…Away from the people who hated me…Away from the jerks who threw rocks at me.

Over the years of trying to scare and surprise both humans, youkai, and fairies, I always end up being beaten or ridiculed.

I really can't help it. It's in my nature as a karakasa to surprise people~

And yes, I do have fun trying to surprise them…That is until they physically beat me to a pulp after my initial failure.

A couple of years ago in one of my nightly attempts, I remembered trying to surprise a man walking out of a bar who was drunker than two certain onis, and was met with a boot to the face and a knife to the stomach.

Us youkai can regenerate from such wounds in such a short time, but my Byakuren it hurt so badly! The knife must have dug into my liver or something because regeneration back then took a long while.

But I was lucky that the drunk somehow got lifted to the sky by a mysterious 'gap' in the air and was whisked away to who knows where, leaving me a bleeding mess on the floor.

I unconsciously touched the place where the knife stabbed me. "Ugh, just thinking about that one makes my stomach hurt."

Enough reminiscing, Kogasa! You better keep get away from here!

**-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-****0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-******

I don't know how long I ran, but it seems this place isn't as affected by the storm, judging from all the sturdy bamboo of different heights and sized in the entire area.

"Come to think of it, where the heck am I?"

Looking around, I found that I am in a forest made entirely of bamboo. The rain and thunder isn't letting up, and I'm really feeling woozy from all the running. In fact, my vision was starting to get blurry and the wound on my head is starting to hurt again.

_Chs hymma en famfa der ciel,_

_chs plina en grlanza art fhyu,_

_Chs hasyu en zassyen der sielp,_

Eh? What's that sound? Singing? I think It's coming from my right.

_Chs bister en rana anw dor,_

_was yea ra messe anw briyante._

Such a beautiful song…Even through all this rain, I can hear it pretty well.

_Wassee anw fane lusye,_

_wassee zess frawr beautiful en afezeria._

_wassee en chs SUBLIMATION._

I'm getting closer to the source of the sound, and there appears to be a light coming from the direction of the singing.

_Was yea ra omness chs ciel sos infel iem,_

_Was yea ra omness chs ciel sos infel iem, Wassee!_

I came upon a small clearing and what looked like a 'yakitori stand' in the middle of it, surrounded by cut-up logs. Very modern too, judging by the electric lamps and what I think they call a 'Plasma TV' positioned under the roof of the car-sized cart. It was showing what looked like Lady Byakuren (along with Nue-chan) making a speech on a podium surrounded by a huge amount of people.

"This must be about that law they made regarding JUDGES or whatever the heck they are called," I thought as I ignored the TV and turned to the source of the song.

The owner of the singing voice happened to be a girl with plum colored hair, wearing the traditional yakitori grill getup. Upon closer inspection, I saw that she was a bird-youkai from the same colored wings on her back.

"Um excuse me…"

She immediately stopped singing and beamed a smile my presence. "Ah! A customer! Welcome! Welcome! You just stumbled into famous _**The**__** Night **__**Sparrow's**__** Retreat**_ Lamprey Stand! Run by me, the one-and-only Mystia Lorelei!"

Before I could even answer her, she started up the grill and began eagerly preparing 2 live lampreys. I could only watch in awe as she removed their guts, cut off their fins, seasoned them with various herbs & spices before skewering them alive on fine bamboo sticks in less than a minute. Soon a delicious aroma of grilling lamprey was permeating the clearing.

_guuuoouugh_

My stomach suddenly reminded me that I was very hungry.

"It should be done in about 5 minutes~", the bird girl says, flipping the now dead lampreys to their uncooked side. "You should get out of the rain and sit-Oh sweet Byakuren! Your forehead's bleeding!"

Bleeding?

_drip_

_drip_

_drip _

I felt my forehead and saw in horror as my fingers touched something thicker than the water dribbling down my face.

The sight of blood on my fingers was the last thing I saw as I passed out.

********-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-****0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-******  
><strong>****

_drip_

_drip_

I awoke to the familiar sound of rain pouring. The first thing I did was instinctively touch my forehead, only to find it wrapped in a well-wrapped bandage. Opening my eyes, I found myself in a very comfy bed, with the bird youkai dozing off on a chair just beside me.

As if an alarm was triggered by my awakening, her eyes shot open and she greeted me with the same smile I saw earlier. "Ah! Your awake!"

"Sorry for sounding rude, but where am I?"

"You're in my house, or rather, you're in my room! Don't you notice the nicely kept things in here?", Mystia informed me playfully, pointing to various furniture in her room. "It's underground, just under my Lamprey Stand. Pretty convenient, eh?"

Before I could answer, she ran out the room and came back a few seconds later with a tray. On said tray was the two lampreys I saw she was grilling earlier.

"Here, eat up! Don't worry about the bill (that includes me patching you up, by the way), I'm sure you can pay me after you recover!", she said humbly, but then added. "If not, I'm sure we can find some way for you to pay me back. See? I'm very kind, like that!"

I gulped knowing I had no money on me whatsoever. Sure, I had a cellphone…Heck, everyone has a cellphone nowadays in Gensokyo ever since Kappa Tech introduced them years ago. The best part is, it's free and the only thing Kappa Tech wanted was the feedback and support of the consumers about their products.

Anyway, back to this umbrella youkai's dilemma.

As I said before, I have no money. My 'kind' rescuer has Yen signs where her pupils should be, and frankly, it's creeping even me out. If I don't do something soon, I have this feeling it's going to be much worse than a bleeding forehead wound I got from those jerk farmers back in the Human Village.

"So, bon appetit-uh, I didn't get your name, customer-san."

"My name's Kogasa. Tatara Kogasa", I answered meekly, trying to decide if I should eat the lampreys she offered or just jump out the window-oh right. There's no window since her house is underground.

I decided to quietly eat what she offered me, and avoid making eye-contact with my host. When Mystia saw me eating, she smiled and exited the room. A few seconds later, she returned carrying my Umbrella counter-part as well as what looked like a nightgown.

"Here's your umbrella if you're looking for it, and here's some fresh clothes you could change into after you take a bath."

"Bath?"

The sparrow laughed softly. "Silly, you got drenched in the rain! You're going to catch a cold if you don't take a bath, you know!"

"But I'm an Umbrella Youkai! I don't need a ba-"

"Uh! Uh! I'm no Eirin, but that's common sense to take a bath after you get soaked from the rain", Mystia interrupted in, then added. "After you eat of course~".

She then left without even giving me a chance to reply.

********-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-****0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-******  
><strong>****

Having finished the grilled lampreys that she cooked (and they were pretty tasty, I might add), I slipped out of the room without her knowing and made my way to the exit. The only problem was that I don't know the way out since the moment I walked outside of the room, 3 doors (left, right and in front of me) greeted me on all sides.

My head still ached from that event in the Human Village that I want to forget, and the multiple doors only added more to my headache.

Without warning, the door to my left suddenly opened as out stepped a naked Mystia with a towel wrapped around her hair. My eyes immediately went to the spot between her legs.

Her 10-inch, foreskin-covered cock is standing erect with the tip of the head slightly pocking out of the foreskin. She also had a modest chest to go with the size of her cock.

I patted my none-existent chest instinctively.

"Looking for the bath? It's this room behind me", the night-sparrow replies nonchalantly while drying her hair with the towel. "Or are you trying to find the way out without giving your thanks?"

I sheepishly averted my gaze from her nether regions and looked at the floor while clutching my umbrella counterpart. "T-The first one!"

"Ah, good! You look like your head is still in pain, so I should wash you also."

"Now wait a minu-"

And just like that, she pulled me into the bathroom with her. I swore I heard the door lock behind me.

"Now, take of your clothes so I can give you a bath", Mystia instructed, taking out a scrubbing towel from a nearby wooden cabinet.

Now that I think about it, this is a very well-made (and expensive looking) bathroom. The walls are made of marbled tiles with various birds depicted on them, and the floor was the same way, except the motifs were based on trees and leaves. Even the wooden cabinet looked like rich mahogany, if one looks closely.

"What are you waiting for? It's like you haven't been inside a bathroom!"

I blushed at the accusation instantly. "T-Truth be told, I only take baths in rivers."

Mystia burst into laughter and dropped the towel she was carrying. I gave her a puzzled look and waited for the plum-haired youkai to regain her breath.

"Um, can I ask what's so funny?", I pouted, making an annoyed face. "Not everyone has a very lovely house like you to take a bath whenever they want, you know."

The bird youkai stopped laughing and wiped a tear from her eye.

"Sorry, sorry…I just find it funny that a girl with very nice hair like you has to take a bath in rivers."

I blushed at her unexpected compliment, but still kept my 'angry' face on despite the opposite.

"Don't worry, I used to take baths in rivers too before I earned enough money to get a house like this."

Now would be a good time to ask her about that since its been bothering me ever since I woke up here. "How did you buy all this expensive looking stuff, much less get a house built underground, Mystia-san?"

"From selling my famous grilled lampreys, of course~"

"Wait! I just find it pretty hard to swallow…All this from selling grilled lamprey?"

I expected Mystia to at least frown at my doubts, but instead her smile turned into a smug grin. Grateful as I am for her food and hospitality, I want to wipe that smirk off her face for some reason.

"Tut, tut! I run a legitimate business here, Kogasa-chan. I just happen to have a LOT of customers that need the curing properties of my grilled lampreys to cure their night-blindness."

"Night-blindness?", I questioned with a raised brow, a little skeptical of her 'legitimate' way of acquiring this much cash with a quaint little lamprey grill. "I think I read an article from that newspaper, BunBunMaru, about your powers pertaining to night-blindness."

Mystia suddenly started sweating bullets, despite the coldness of the bathroom. "AH! That newspaper is full of lies! Aya-san tends to fib and exaggerate whatever she reports, no matter how they truly are!"

Before I could respond to her odd behavior, Mystia tackled me to the cold floor and proceeded to take off my clothes in record speed.

"Kyaaa! M-Mystia-san, what are you doing! Why are you touching me there!"

"Taking of your clothes, due! You can't take a proper bath with these annoying things on", the plum-haired songbird says, stripping me to my panties. "Now let's take this last piece-"

I managed to squirm out of her grasp and bolted for the door.

_k-chk!_

_k-chk!_

LOCKED!

"I'm very sorry for what I'm about to do Kogasa-chan."

Turning around to look at Mystia, her voice sounded somewhat ragged and almost pleading. Then I noticed two very obvious things.

One, her eyes had a feral, and animalistic look in them.

"But the truth is, It's the 3-month mating season for us animal youkai, you see…"

And two, her modestly twitching dick was throbbing with pre-cum leaking slowly from the tip and unto the floor.

"S-So Kogasa-chan, I need your help to ease my pain. I've been holding it in for a very long time now, and I'm afraid masturbating yearly every time this happens just doesn't cut it anymore!"

I looked around for my umbrella counterpart that I dropped when she tackled me. Without warning I suddenly felt heat in my nether regions as I collapsed to my knees on the floor.

"Looking for this?"

My other half is being held hostage by Mystia…And she seems to be licking the handle of my counterpart.

"I did a little experimentation while you were asleep and found out that you and your umbrella here are connected. When I accidentally tipped her over, you cried in pain while you were out cold."

Mystia then slowly sucked on my umbrella's tongue, which made my head throb as foreign sensations invaded my senses.

"So I figured I could use it to my advantage to capture a cute youkai like you, Kogasa-chan~"

What Mystia was doing to my other half also has it's downsides. If I can feel pleasure, I can also feel pain from it since we are both one and the same. Whatever happens to me/her happens to the other.

Despite my imminent situation of rape happening right now, my mind suddenly had the gull to make me reminisce about another traumatic event in this eggplant-colored umbrella youkai's life.

I never really feared death and the dangers my surprise attempts carried. But that all changed when I'died' for the first time 5 years ago after a group of youkai hunters burned my umbrella when I surprised them while they were having their little campfire dinner.

I will never forget the cold fingers of death as I was turned into an 'eggplant barbecue'. By the graces of Byakuren, I was such a naïve youkai back then.

"Kogasa-chan? Are you okay? You seem to be spacing out after that little stimulation I gave you~"

Oh right, Mystia. Now back to the current dilemma at hand…

The plum-haired songstress then laid my umbrella down and approached my fallen form.

"Don't you worry your cute little head! Nurse Mystia will make it all better!"

She then proceeded to tug at my panties.

"I'm very selfish for doing this to you, but I'll treat you to all the grilled lampreys you can eat after this…Now let's see your other cute self!"

_riiiip_

"W-What's this!"

In all the years I have lived since I came to be, no one ever knows this secret of mine.

No one knows…Not a single one living in Gensokyo knows my terrible secret. It may even come as an unintentional surprise to the people that find out.

You see…I, Kogasa Tatara…Have no…

"YOU DON'T HAVE A PENIS!"

I am the only person in the futanari-filled land of Gensokyo that you could truly call a freak.

Yes.

This umbrella youkai came to be without a penis, making her a female through-and-through. But I fear if this piece of information came out, everyone will ridicule me…Everyone will hate me…

And I will never ever have a chance to surprise anyone again.

_thud_

Mystia fell off me and on her butt. She seemed to have regained her earlier senses prior to her attempted rape of this umbrella youkai. Funny how the many times I try to surprise people, this is the only time I actually succeeded, unintentional and embarrassing to myself as it may be.

"Surprised?", I questioned with a deadpan look.

The night sparrow could only shake her head in agreement.

"I bet you think I'm a freak, right", I asked as I got up from the floor. "Go on, it's okay…"

"Kogasa-chan, I don't-"

"SAY IT!"

Mystia visibly shook for a moment from my sudden outburst, before she lunged at me again and tackled me back to the marble tiles of the bathroom.

"No, you're not a freak…Then again, I don't care anymore Kogasa-chan!", she said, reverting back to horny-mode and rubbing the tip of her cock on my stomach. "Let's get to know each other and becomes friends~"

I was fed up with tonight's events that lead me her to be sexually assaulted by a rutting night sparrow (but I do admit she isn't bad looking and she does have a beautiful voice), and I don't have a choice in the matter. I decided that the only way out was to satisfy her lust and took the lead.

"Fine! You want me!", I said, my voice filled with determination as I positioned Mystia's cock in my entrance. "You're in for a surp-OOOWWWW!"

Oh sweet, merciful Byakuren! I didn't know it was going to hurt this much on my first time! It was like there was a danmaku battle between my legs and someone just BOMBED!

I tried to get off my avian host as I saw blood trickle down my legs. "Mystia! Take it out!"

"Now way, Kogasa-chan!"

She held me down and continued to fuck me in a missionary position. Damn whatever deity bitch is in charge of Eintei.

"If it makes you feel better, this is my first-time too!"

Yay, Mystia-san. But you're not the one with the bleeding pussy.

"O-Okay! I'm going to move now!"

And just like that, Mystia succumbed to her animal instincts and proceeded to use me not as an umbrella, but as a cock-sleeve for her own pleasure.

I could feel her pre-cum oozing like crazy inside my pussy, which caused me to moan as the painful throbbing was replaced by a sort of tingling pleasure. It didn't stop there as Mystia bent down and licked my none-existant chest's nipples like she was hopping I would produce milk like that hauteur from the Human Village.

"_Aaahn! I admit it does feel good", _I though, stifling a loud moan as my nipples where being 'milked' by this plum-haired songbird. _"Hnnnnnaah! I b-better relax and hope she finishes soon."_

Now before you ask, I do know a good deal about the birds-and-the-bees or whatever you want to call it. But like I said, I have zero experience and zero encounters with the fairer sex even though Gensokyo is ridiculously full of females.

Masturbating was my second most current activity apart from surprising people.

"A-Ahhh! Kogasa-chan, I'm about to cum!", Mystia suddenly announced as she picked up speed that would even make certain rabbits in Eintei green with envy. "C-Can I cum inside you! Can I!"

I immediately snapped out of my own pleasures. "N-No Mystia-san! I'll get pregnant if you do that!"

"W-Well, I wouldn mind marrying you if that happens! Now here's your engagement ring! NNAAAHHHHH!"

And just like, she 'proposed' to me and pumped me full of her avian spunk. The sensation of being filled sent me over the edge as I orgasm and tightly hugged the night-sparrow for support while my body shook in waves of pleasure. But to be honest, her pledge of marriage really surprised me and was one of the reasons I came as hard as I could.

"Hah…Hah…Kogasa-chan~"

I felt Mystia collapse on top of me, which made escape impossible. Not that I had any plans of escaping after all this…

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><strong>****

A couple of days passed after Mystia-san made me hers. After the bathroom rape, she apologized to me none-stop and told me not to tell anyone about her behavior. Mystia-san even cried genuinely and got on her knees after she realized what she did.

She was completely at my mercy.

But I could never tell anyone about her, because I know she knows what I lack too. After a brief discussion, we agreed to put it all in the past and start fresh. I'm now currently helping her set the plates on the table in her comfy underground home.

I decided to test her promise just for fun."So Mystia-san, when are we going to get married?"

Expecting Mystia to panic, I didn't look at her directly when I said that. Instead, I felt a gentle hand tilt my head to the side as Mystia claimed my lips with a deep kiss.

"Kogasa-chan, whenever you are ready."

My heart almost skipped a beat at that warm and loving face she made! By Kanako, why is this girl not married yet! She can cook, she has a very nice home, and…And she made me see heaven when she raped me.

I finally found someone who will finally love me, and would never throw me away.

"Mystia, let's get married tomorrow!", I replied, wiping a tear from my eye. "We can even do it here so no one will know. That red-white miko can be our priest and wed us!"

The plum-haired grill stand owner smiled at my suggestion. "Anything for you, Mrs. Lorelei~"

I playfully punched her shoulder.

Finally, after all these years of surprising people and getting nothing but pain and ridicule, I finally have someone who will be never throw me away like my previous owner.

"Thank you, my 'husband'. Now let's eat before the food get's cold…

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_ring_

_ring _

_ring_

"Yes, Scarlet Devil Residence. Who is-"

…

…

"What! That night-sparrow's grill stand we occasionally go to!"

…

"You're not kidding? Did you already text everyone you know?"

…

"So who's invited?"

…

…

"That fat ghost and those drunk onis are not going to like this…"

…

…

"Haha, I expect it! Oh, and could you please call my cell-phone instead of the mansion's line?"

…

"I understand, thanks Yuuka."

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**Afterword:** And that's it for this not so sexually arousing chapter…

I guess I can't really sexually torture the NEW Youkai Moe~ that is Kogasa Tatara with wanton sexing…

But rest assured there will be plenty of smex the next chapter involving a certain fairy…I'll leave it to inspiration who (or maybe a group of people) she ends up with...

Until then, keep Gensokyo gay~

(P.S. Kudos to the people who can guess what song Mystia was singing in the beginning...I'll give you a hint...It's an infamous PS2 RPG game known for it's music~)


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